Burying 2016: That Gorilla

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I’ve made a New Year’s resolution, folks. For every Harambe joke I hear in 2017, I’m going to kill five gorillas in five different zoos. Continue reading

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‘Gumby’ and the Imminent Downfall of Civilization

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If you look at the current trends in popular media, a lot of success is determined by name recognition. Not necessarily the names of actors; one could actually argue that “star power” doesn’t matter nearly as much as it used to. I’m talking about brand names: adaptations, sequels, franchises, spinoffs, reboots, remakes and rehashes. These days, nostalgia is the most bankable. It’s almost a franchise in and of itself.

Inevitably, we’re going to see a Hollywood reboot of Gumby. On that day, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’m stressed out just thinking about it. Continue reading