Hey pals. This is my review of the Hot Wheels “Quick ‘N Sik” toy from McDonald’s. The jury’s still out on what exactly Quick ‘N Sik means, but it sounds sexy so I think you all will like it.
The toy comes in a bag. The bag is made of plastic. The plastic is inedible and does not taste very good. It is recommended that you do not eat the packaging that your toy comes in. Seriously, it’s worse for you than the food that came with this thing.
The Hot Wheels Stick ‘N Flick or whatever the fuck it’s called is modeled after a car. What kind of car? No clue. It seems to be a coupe of some sort. I looked it up, and that’s what you call a car with two doors. Since I am now a car expert, this is confirmed. Catch me at your local Jiffy Lube.
The red paint is really cool. One could say it’s more of a crimson but I’m not an artist so I couldn’t give a flying chicken shit about colors. Figure it our yourself, Picasso.
The wheels spin around.
The Quit ‘N Sit car comes with an accordion thingy that shoots air. At first I thought it was for scaring little kids with puffs of wind so that they will leave you alone and let a man eat his damn Happy Meal in peace for God’s sake, but after I read the instructions included with the toy it became quite clear that it’s used for propelling the car forward.
Also, McDonald’s outdid themselves yet again and included a shitton of extra stickers to put on. So I put them on. All of them.
Honestly, I think the extra stickers add a lot of flair to the otherwise bland car. Who wouldn’t want to drive this bad boy down the streets of [insert large American city here]?
The car’s butthole plugs (haha buttplugs) into the hole on the air thing and you can slam your hand/foot/boob on it to make the car go zoom zoom. Behold:
Just be careful not to insert your finger or genitalia into the hole. Who knows if you’ll be able to get it out?
Cars are neat. I like red. However, I’m not a fan of NASCAR or anything it stands for so I could recommend avoiding this toy at all costs unless you’re into chewing tobacco, country music or the NRA. If you’re all of those things then you’re probably Ted Nugent, in which case please get as far away from my highly professional blog as possible.
I give the McDonald’s Dick ‘N Flik car thingymabobber seven rednecks out of Dale Earnhardt Jr.